My First and Only Diary Entry till now ..... (June 23, 2005)

I have no idea why I am writting. It is not that I usually write or I mean it to be read. My conscious mind is telling me this should never be read but who knows what the subconsious mind wants. If by any chance you are reading this then I bet you must already have praised my nice-handwritting. Actually I can write. I have the potential in English Language to write sentences in more dramatical way in simple words than using critical terms. GOD knows wheather I will clear CAT. Ooooops ....... "GOD" is a user defined thing from my point of view. My point of view has reamined almost constant from my childhood and remain hated from my childhood too. I know 90% of people cant be wrong but wrong and right are user defined again. So better leave the aspirations of changing me if you have any. Really is the above sentece meaningful?? I mean changing of point of view and changing of man. Are both synonomous , both the same phenomenon??? I dont know. Its my point of view. Actually the thing is that I felt like writting. Hey, I am not Forrest Gump.... Ok. I would like to be like him but wouldnt love. I know Smoking is Injurious to Health but I dont know why there is always written "Smoking is Injurious to Health". Does it really matter? I mean the above saying. In my case it didnt. Well I remember at this juncture DPD's line " I want to do something close to my Heart ...................................................... and Lungs." Frankly speaking ( all my writtings from begining to this point are also very frank) I havent done anything till this date. If you know me then try to remember if I have done anything. Here "doing" doesnt means the mechanical or physical doings. Will I do something??? Frankly speaking again I dont know actually. Am I a human being?? I dont know. But 100% evidence is there from my point of view to prove that I am a human being. But I dont know What I am is "me" or not. It may be MATRIX. We may be from XION and our minds are programmed to enjoy this life or it may be that it has not started. It may start from scratch like the Movie Terminator. Wow ... what a great movie is the Terminator. Is'nt it ? Terminator reminds me of AI. In this world where we dont have confidenceon our own intelligence how can we be sure of AI. yah there is evidence. Softwares are not self defining, they may be capable of self awarness but. It is raining now. I am feeling sleepy. I want to sleep. Because our subconcious mind wants to be happy. We may surface that or may not.